Unseen Transformations

So today I begin week three of a ninety day workout and diet regimen that my husband and I have decided to undertake together. He has been working out for the past year and a half, using the P90X program and I have been trying to do my best to accommodate his diet needs in accordance with that program. There are a lot of differences in the menu's provided for each of the work out programs but the biggest difference, at least according to him, is the amount of calories he intakes on a daily basis. While he sometimes feels he is hungry due to the reduced intake of food, I, on the other hand, feel like I am always full to bursting. Going from one meal a day with an occasional snack to three very specific meals and a snack has been very trying for me and sometimes I feel nauseated over the very idea that soon I will have to eat. I am sure as my body begins to run more efficiently that this side effect will disappear, but as of right now, lunch awaits me in less than an hour and I am not so eager to indulge in it. I have always had this issue. I only eat when I am hungry. Logically I know that I should never feel hungry and that the very signal of hunger in my brain will cause my body to begin to store it's fat. However I just never saw the point of eating when my body was not telling me that I needed to.  This situation is more challenging to me than the actual work outs have been but I am confident that it is a temporary hurdle and that once I jump it, my body will just run more efficiently for me. My husband commented that he could tell the work out and diet program was helping him with his plateau as of late, and that he could notice a difference in the way his clothes were fitting him. I had admitted to him that I had not noticed such results in myself. My clothes do not feel any different to me. Perhaps as we get into the more intense work outs and my body begins to burn through the increased amount of fuel I am giving it this will change. I don't know. I wonder sometimes if I am just not pushing myself hard enough. I am sweating, winded and exhausted by the end of the work outs and I make sure I am doing every single exercise, but perhaps I could be doing them with more intensity now that I have the ever important form down. My husband says that he notices a difference in the way I carry myself and him and my daughter said that they both can see the changes in my body but until I can see it and feel it, does it really count? There are things I do notice, though, even if they are not reflective in the way my clothes fit or I see myself in the mirror. I notice that I sleep deeper, which is important for my fibromyalgia. Now this is not to say that I don't wake up numerous times during the night due to pain and just being uncomfortable, but I have an easier time getting back to sleep, which is huge for me. I have noticed that I am staying up later too and not quite so mentally exhausted after my day. This is a double edge sword at times, like last night when it was already 1:30am and I was still lying awake in bed and needing to get up at 7am. I hope that this evens out once my body has found its rhythm in this new lifestyle change. I also noticed that the first week I was incredibly sore after my work outs, especially the next day. It was to the point where I had to call upon all my will power to convince myself to go down and do them every evening. However last week, that soreness had lessened and I no longer contemplated my body's ability to make it through the exercises. I knew I was capable of doing them. Although I have a feeling that this week will be more like the first week all over again as the work outs change and become more intense with the second part of phase one, I also know that  if I can just get through the week, the following week will be easier for me, especially if these past two weeks are any indication. Maybe after these next two weeks and the completion of phase one I will see some actual physical differences. On the other hand, ,maybe I won't. Perhaps it is the changes that are happening within me that are taking the focus off what I see in the mirror and instead narrowing my vision to the changes that are truly transformative. Only time will tell at this point. For now, I am content that I am changing and will only continue to do so.
Namaste....be blessed.