Building An Improved Model of Self

Good Morning all. I would not usually use a quote directed at a certain religious bent however this one I believe can be modified to fit anyone's beliefs. In my opinion the message it relays is far more important than any correlation between it and any one religious path.

Today's Quote: "Just in case you believe that great social problems are beyond your scope, consider this story: God said to me: Your task is to build a better world. I answered: How can I do that? The world is such a large, vast place, so complicated now, and I am so small and useless. There's nothing I can do. But God in his great wisdom said: Just build a better you." - Anonymous

 For those who know me, you all know that I am Wiccan so if I can see set aside the religious aspects of this quote and grasp the message that by being the best human being I can be, I can change my world, I think that anyone can find this quote just as inspirational. I would consider this quote to be just as profound had the conversation been between a parent/child, teacher/pupil, or any other type of relationship dynamic that exists in the world. The key, for me anyway, is not the word God. It is the overall message that we, as individual people, have the power to change the world for the better. By making ourselves into what we each consider to be good people filled with love, understanding and compassion, we directly influence those around us. If we live our lives like the entire world is watching us and using us as the example of how life should be lived, we have the opportunity to lead by good example, to show people who perhaps do not know how to live in such a way that it is possible and the bounty that comes with it. If we can influence just the people in our immediate circles, then those people influence the people in their circles and so on and so forth until before we know it, our example has been extended beyond any scope of what we conceived even possible. This is how one person CAN change the world that they exist in. Can you imagine the possibilities of this effect on a world wide scale? If every person was to build themselves to be better people than they were before? The result would be unlike anything we have ever experienced. Life would be drastically different from the one in which we all currently live.  Now, I am not saying that by doing so we can remove every single negative aspect of life. With so many unique people from different cultures and beliefs, different backgrounds and moral compasses existing on one planet together there are bound to be challenges and hardships, the clashing of ideas and opinions.  However, if each of us were working on building ourselves into better people, perhaps those troubled times would not becoming all encompassing global problems and everyone would get what they need to live their lives as peacefully and productively as possible. Becoming a better person, never mind a better species, does not happen over night. It is a process that we have to constantly be working on to improve. It requires an open mind and heart, determination, forgiveness, as well as knowledge, experience, support and education. There has to be honesty with ourselves and others, empathy, communication and a willingness to see things from another persons perspective so that we can understand our fellow human beings better and help them to improve their own circumstances. It takes a lot of hard work to build ourselves into the best people we can possibly be, but the rewards of taking the steps have the ability to change not only our own lives for the better but the entire population, one person at a time. I invite you all to become the best people you can be, to influence those around you so that the ripple effect of your productivity and hard work can enhance the lives of so many others. Even the smallest improvement can have dramatic results.

Namaste

Dog Eats Dog

Good morning everyone! I was searching for a quote that had to do with people taking advantage of others, something that I feel is currently happening to me, when I came across one that stopped that search in it's tracks. I thought to myself, this is exactly the type of situation this quote applies to and so I offer it up for today instead of where my mind had originally wanted to go.

Today's Quote: "A Native American Elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "the one I feed the most." - George Bernard Shaw

As I said before, I was completely set on the topic for today because of the way I am being treated by certain people in my circle.  I wanted to get those feelings processed and out in the open so that they did not begin to eat away at my peace of mind today. However, when I read the quote above, I had one of those moments where I felt like I was standing at a crossroads and before me lay my two options. I could either stay on my current path, allowing the actions of another person to taint my day and in essence feed the mean and evil dog, or I could choose to feed the good dog, the one that tells me that it can only taint my day if I allow it to. I obviously chose the latter of the two. I think this quote was so profound to me because of the simplicity of the visualization. I can see it now:...two dogs, one foaming and aggressive, wild in its very nature and out of control while the other is standing tall and silent, a calming aura of self control shown in its eyes, in the very stance it takes. Feeding the former would make that dog all the stronger in its chaos and unpredictability. It would enable the dog to become more of a destructive force. However, if you were to starve that dog and instead put everything into feeding the "good" dog and making it stronger, because of its very nature nature that strength could then be harnessed and controlled,  focused on a more productive target. I don't know about you but I would rather be able to hold the reigns and control my inner dog then have a dangerous one pulling me along as it runs rampant, terrorizing anything and everything that crosses its path. I hope that this quote does for you what it has done for me in allowing you that moment of clarity when faced with a choice. It is a dog eat dog world out there, so make sure your companion is the one being fed the good stuff!

Namaste

Life is Life

Good morning all! It has been a few days since I have written and for that I apologize. There have been many things going on around me and not all have been the most pleasant but they all are kept in perspective by the following lyrics that have always been somewhat of a mantra to me when I am having a difficult moment, day or week.

"Life is life when we all feel the power. Life is life come on, stand up and dance. Life is life when the feeling of the people. Life is life is the feeling of the band!  When we all give the power, we all give the best. Every minute of an hour, don't think about the rest. Then you all get the power, you all get the best.When everyone gives everything and every song everybody sings... And it's life!" Opus


It can be extremely difficult to stay positive when it feels like the world is closing in on you. There are times when I just want to scream with all the stress, obligations and expectations that are placed on me. I have been having such an experience the last few days. My physical challenges have made me feel extremely inefficient, the obligations I feel towards my family have had me stressing out, trying to accomplish all tasks placed at my feet even though I have not been feeling well at all. There have been weather challenges that have seen all the girls home this week and so the house has not had that level of quiet which I use to calm my loud thoughts. I just have not been feeling at my best and it's hard to remember that life does not stop just because I am not well or am feeling overwhelmed when I am already feeling beaten and broken. So today, I need something to grasp onto and this song has always had a way of doing that for me, of reminding me that life does indeed go on and that it will be whatever we allow it to be. It sorta reminds me of that ING commercial...if you don't want to pay banking fees then stop paying banking fees. Only this time I am hearing...if you don't want to be stressed out about things then don't be stressed out about things. It really is that simple of a concept, even if it is not so simple to execute. You have to make the choice, choose your course of action and make the sacrifices. But it can be done if you want it bad enough. Life is life. No one is exempt from stress or problems, just like no one is incapable of having the possibilities to feel fulfillment and joy. It is all in how we choose to view things, handle things, allow things to effect us. Today I am going to do my level best to stay positive, to not let the things I can't control control me, to not let the little challenges become all consuming problems. Today I am going to try my hardest to keep a firm grasp on my perceptions and limitations, remembering that I am but one person and have numerous others in my life that are willing and capable of sharing my load. Sometimes being a leader means you have to learn to delegate, otherwise we would drown in all the things that require our attention. We would forever fall behind and never catch up. Today I will put those skills to work, to lessen the stresses on me so that I can work on getting over the health issues plaguing me at the moment. That is the first step and the most critical because it is the outlook that will define the experience and I want every experience to be as positive and healthy as I can possibly make it for me and everyone around me. I hope that today's quote has been the pick me up that you have needed or the confirmation of what you are already practicing. Have a healthy, positive day readers and just remember..life is life!
Namaste

We Are Family...

Today's quote is the by-product of a conversation I had with someone very close to me. It yet again grabbed my attention because of the author's name, which resembles the name of my mother and my youngest daughter simultaneously.  I hope you all enjoy!

Today's Quote:

"In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit." Marge Kennedy

 It is hard, sometimes, for others to understand the intricate bonds between members of a family. The way they see things is seldom the way things really are and having to explain the in's and out's of the complexities can be just as frustrating to the person telling as the person being told. The reality is that others have not been there the entirety of the relationships. They do not know of all the battles won and lost, the smiles and tears, the conversations and actions which have created the memories held close to the heart. They do not know first hand of the sacrifices and trying times, the promises kept or promises broken, nor do they know of the quiet moments where words were not needed to convey the love one feels for another. They do not know what each person has had to go through to become they people they are. No family is a perfect family and all have their own challenges which make them unique. Some families are close, others very distant. Some families are made up of other families where there is no blood link what so ever. Every family is a creation unto it self and since we perceive things based on our own knowledge and experience, sometimes it is a very difficult task to try and explain why it is you do what you do for your family. I have heard it many times before; that I give too much, allow too much and take too little for myself. My sister lovingly calls me the martyr and at first, I used to get really annoyed with her for it. Now, I see it as an honorable person to be. I will give all I am to my family, no matter the detriment to myself because without them, my world is not worth anything to me. It is really no different, in my eyes, then taking a bullet for them, stepping in front of a moving vehicle for them or any of the other numerous acceptable concepts that people tend to throw around. My family, as dysfunctionally functional as it is, is mine and even though sometimes I wish they would learn faster, try harder, be more compassionate or empathetic, stop poking at each other or any of the myriad ways they tend to try my patience, I accept them for the people they all are, faults and all. Some would no doubt shake their heads at some of the things I keep quiet about or do for my family.  I sometimes let them push me to my limits, help them when they are perfectly capable of helping themselves, or bend over backwards to get them what they desire but I do these things because it gives me pleasure to do so.  Even if at the time it is somewhat of a stress factor, the end always justifies the means. The look on their faces or the thankfulness that might not be recognizable to some but that I know without a doubt is there, makes it all worthwhile to me and means everything to me. I know what the strengths and weaknesses are of every member of my family. I know how they learn, where they have grown and where they still need to grow. I know what each is capable of and where each has struggled. I can tell just by their mannerisms  what they are feeling, how their days are going and behind the mask each of them tries to wear at various points in their lives to hide what is really going on in their worlds. I know them better than anyone in the world, see the things nobody else is privileged to see and am the one they all trust enough to ask advice from. I have been there through it all up to this date and will continue to be here for them until the day I take my last breath. Why do I do what I do or allow what I allow within my family? Because I love them more than life itself.

Washing It Clean

Good day everyone! Today's quote was inspired by a feeling that settled over me like a cloak today as I was giving my grandson a bath for the very first time. It is amazing how such a simple chore such as that has the power to completely swell the heart when one takes notice of the joy of the moment. 

Today's Quote: "There is one armor that the world of men and women, as a world, has never yet put on.  The churches have long bungled with its fastenings, but the world has gone unfended, and few have been those in whose hands the mystical sword of the spirit has shone with daily use.  This armor, waiting to be worn, is the armor of brotherhood and sacrifice, the world of unselfishness, a conquering sword, with the power, where used, to unite the world in love.  And there are none who may not put it on."  ~M.A. DeWolfe Howe

I felt so at peace, even amongst the tiny little screeching lungs of my grandson, while I gave him his bath today. I was so happy to just have the opportunity to love him so much, to tend to such a simple task that helps to keep him healthy and just to be someone he is already, in his 3 days of life, beginning to recognize as someone who does love him and see's to his needs, someone he is safe with. I thought to myself how wonderful the world could really be if everyone would do as I was doing in that moment, enjoying such a simple pleasure and not letting the negative, such as his crying, outweigh the positive of the experience. I was bathing him not for myself but for him and his mom and dad, to help them out because I could, because I wanted to, because I was honored to.  It was a purely unselfish act carried out with such love and peace within me and the moment was so beautiful and magical that I just wanted every person in the world to have that in their lives the way I was having it in mine. I have not always been so giving, have not always been so affected by such simple things but none of that matters. Anyone, at any given point in time, can make the choice to be happy, to love deeply and share that love with everyone they meet, to take the moments like the one I had today and let it feed their soul. If instead of people hurting others for profit, revenge,  pride (or any of the other multitude of reasons why the human race can't just all get along) they were to embrace each other, celebrate the differences, the things we can all learn from one another to enrich our lives,  there would be such bliss amongst mankind. If everyone could just hold on to those moments of peace, like what I felt today, and chase after those feelings with as much vigor as they chase after their hatred, rage and feelings of negativity, this thing we call life would be so magical for everyone, not just some people. I hope everyone can have their moments of utter bliss and recognize them for what they are. We are truly blessed when we are able to get past everything else to savor the finer things in life.

Namaste

Christmas Treasures

Hello everyone! It has been a very emotional last few days. My daughter was induced on the the 22nd and at 3:13pm Christmas Day, I was blessed with the best gift one could possible ask for...my grandson! It has been a season of blessings, family and gratitude and so today's quote is a reflection of that. 

Today's quote: "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."  ~Thornton Wilder


I cannot believe my grandson is finally here! It seems almost surreal. Perhaps it is because he has yet to leave the hospital and come home. Perhaps it is because I just cannot believe I was lucky enough to receive such a treasure. I know that for myself, the giving of a new life, being there to be a part of it all, has a profound effect on how I view everything around me which was only magnified by watching my grandson come into this world. I went running down the halls, tears streaming my face, my heart full to near bursting to tell my awaiting loved ones that FINALLY, after almost 3 days of sitting on pins and needles, he was here. I believe those were my actual words...he's here. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes just to replay his birth and the time since in my mind. I am extremely grateful to the Gods and to my beautiful daughter and her boyfriend for making it possible for me to be feeling so incredibly blessed. I am so very proud of them all. My daughter, for her strength and courage, her boyfriend for sticking with her even when she got grumpy and my beautiful grandson Nesa for staying strong and changing all of our lives with his presence. There are really no words to express the depth of the emotions. I can say that I am truly alive in these moments, for I have more than recognized all the treasures I have been granted in my life. I hope that all of you reading this can stop and become aware of all the blessings you have been given and appreciate them all for the miracles they are. Life is as good as we want it to be, as precious and glorious as we allow it to be. Realize your treasures and LIVE to the fullest potential of your entire being because of them.
Namaste

A Yule Miracle

Merry Meet and Blessed Yule! I have had an emotional rollercoaster of a day but in the end, it was as it was meant to be. I found out today that my daughter will be induced on Friday morning, which means that I will have a brand new grandson this solstice! I have so many emotions running through me that it is hard for me to concentrate, so when I read the quote I have chosen for today and felt a little weepy over it, I knew it was the right quote at the right time. I knew, just like the arrival of my miracle grandson, that it was just meant to be.

Today's quote: "Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying "Smile Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap." Liv Ullmann

I chose this quote because it is completely relates to my life today. I have a picture of myself on my fourth birthday, sitting on my grandmother's lap with the doll she had gifted me in tow. That picture is full of memories for me, especially since I lost her 7 years after that birthday. I remember looking at that picture when it was housed in my mother's photo album and my mother saying to me "do you remember what you said to Grandma when that picture was taken?" I replied that I didn't and she told me that I had sat on my grandmother's knee and said to her, "Grandma, will you still love me now that I'm four?" My mother told me that it took everything in their power not to burst out in laughter at the seriousness with which I had asked the question. I can imagine it was a priceless moment for them, just as the memory of it still is for me thirty years later. Now, only a couple days away from being blessed with MY first grandchild, I am anxiously awaiting all the moments like that that him and I will create together. For those of you who do not know the backstory, my daughter was scheduled to have gynecological surgery a week after she found out she was pregnant. That surgery had the probability of making it extremely difficult, if not impossible, for her to have a child. The news was a miracle to us and I know that I believe, with all my heart, that the Gods were smiling down on us. Now, with her going in for an induction just one day after Yule, I find myself thinking about the symbolism of the miracle grandson coming at a time when my belief is celebrating the birth of the Sun King. I know, without a doubt, that he is going to do wonderful things in life. He has been placed in our hands and hearts against all odds because he has an important purpose in this world. I can feel the truth of this with all my being. I cannot even express how completely blessed I am feeling at this moment. Tomorrow night, while I celebrate Yule, I will be making sure that I bestow my gratitude for the gift I am being granted in the form of my grandson, as well as the precious gifts I have already been given in the forms of my children, husband and the numerous other family members and friends that I have in my life. This is what utter and complete happiness feels like. I wish you all a very Blessed Yule/Merry Christmas/Season's Greetings/ Happy Kwanza, Joyful Hanukkah and any other celebration you may take part in this holiday season. May your lives be enriched with love and peace.

Namaste

Random Acts of Kindness

Merry Meet! I hope you have all enjoyed your weekend. Mine was spent getting the last of the Yule/Christmas preparations completed before the holidays next week. It is going to be a very busy few days! I have to admit, today's quote was inspired by a story I read about numerous good Samaritans paying off layaway accounts for family's struggling to make the payments. I was deeply touched by the random acts of kindness these people showed to their fellow man and so I wanted to pay that forward in my own little way by sharing a quote that I find particularly inspiring, especially when I am struggling to remember why I am doing things for other people.

Today's quote: "Give cheerfully and freely. It is the energy behind the giving that matters so do not give grudgingly. The law of cause and effect guarantees that you shall receive plenty for what you give."David Cameron Gikandi

I have to own that I sometimes have a very bad habit of doing things for people, especially family,  because I feel obligated to do so. I have a tendency to look upon these "favors" as something I have to do, instead of something I want to do. I am sure I am not the only person on the planet who feels this way at one time or another. An example of this would be that I sometimes do things for my father because I feel it is my duty as his daughter, because he has done so much for me. This is not a productive line of thought and is in fact in direct contrast with what my quote states. I am working very hard to correct this character flaw in myself but sometimes it is like pulling teeth to me. I sometimes feel it is easier to do something grudgingly rather than saying "no" to someone who has asked me to help them because then I always feel guilty or feel that they will think I am selfish. In my mind, this is unacceptable because what the people I am around think of me as a person is incredibly important to me. I want to be loved, needed and generally liked. I want to be the person they know will help them if they need me to.  In my mind, saying "no" to someone who has asked something of me will give them an automatic negative view of my character. I know that it is really not this way, that people realize that perhaps I just don't have the time or the answers or whatever it is they may require from me, but it feels this way to me.  This habitual reaction is really doing more harm than good because if the behavior continues, I am going to be known as the person who will help others, but will feel "put out" to do so. This is NOT what I want people to say about my character. I want to be known as someone who gives freely to others, who is always there to lend a helping hand, who loves everyone, judges no one and who can be confided in and trusted. If you give of yourself to others because you feel you have to, the energy of that also transfers with the deed and it creates a type of pollution within the intent. Those you are doing the deed for can feel  that you are only doing it because you feel like you have to and it makes them feel horrible for having asked it of you. This is not what helping and giving means by any definition. It is not suppose to make either the giver or the receiver feel badly about the exchange and that is exactly what happens if you are not giving of yourself purely because you desire to do so, because you want to. Along this same line of thinking comes the topic of giving with the expectation of getting something back. It is no good if you expect something other than to feel good about being able to help someone out. Gifts, no matter if they are purchased or just a piece of your time, are suppose to be just that, gifts. The definition of a gift, according to freedictionary.com is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. Expecting something in return because you gave something, is not giving a gift.  I encourage you all to look at your motives the next time you decide to gift someone in some way, shape or form. Are you doing it for the right reasons? Are you both going to feel good about it before, during and afterwards? This is the season of giving and it doesn't have to cost anything in a monetary context to be able to reap the emotional and spiritual benefits that giving to others can provide. This reminder is MY gift to all of you just as surely as the story which inspired me to write this blog in the first place was a reminder, a gift, given to me.
Namaste, be blessed.

Music To My Ears

I know this blog is showing itself kind of late in the day but I just wasn't quite ready to write earlier. I have finally had that light bulb go on that told me I had the perfect topic to offer up for my perceptions of the moment and so now I will share them with you.

Today's quote: " I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me to be the most civilized music in the world." Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

I have had a pretty fantastic day. I have spent a lot of it laughing at the numerous people, influences and situations that have crossed my path. Today was just a good day to laugh and it felt really liberating to be able to let go of the stress that so often overtakes my life.
It all started when I was playing status tag on a networking site with my best friend in the entire world. Now, there is a woman who knows how to laugh! She has one of the best laughs I have ever heard and it actually comes in two parts. First there is the "Betty Rubble" giggle, which shows itself on a fairly regular basis as she seems to be able to find humor in almost anything! Then there is her "belly laugh", which is just what it sounds like. It comes straight from her belly, loud and booming, her mirth radiating out of her and effecting everyone around her. It is completely contagious and there is not a person, I don't think, who could refrain from sharing in her joy when she let's that one go. She is one of the few people in the world who can make me laugh so ridiculously hard that I actually burst into tears, my emotional floodgate being smashed to pieces by whatever incident has caused the laugh fest to begin. I have known her for 27 years and there are a million stories to be told and relived where this was the outcome of my time spent with her. After that, I started my quote hunt for this blog and I came across so many funny quotes that just had me in stitches. My daughter actually asked me if I was drunk because I was laughing so hard at what I was reading! Then her and I started in on a conversation where we once again, started laughing and joking around. Making dinner with my other two children loaned itself to still more silliness and laughter and then after dinner, a  little playing and teasing with my husband had us both giggling away like little school girls. Indeed, today has been a day to laugh and the ability to do so and the sheer sounds of it filling my home was a symphony to my ears. I can think of no better sound in the world. Whether it is the adorable first laugh of a baby, the toddler chasing the dog and laughing at the experience, friends laughing together or lovers sharing a funny memory to the sound of it, there is no such thing as laughing out of key and every note is beautiful and moving. I wish you all merriment and joy today and always. May your own personal magnum opus fill your hearts and homes.
Namaste

The Darker Side of Dreamscape

Good morning everyone. My husband and I were discussing this blog the other day and he had asked me why I was only writing the positive things that were relating to me. He wanted to know why I wasn't also writing about the harder things in life. I suppose the reason for this is because I had wanted to change the format of the blog to something that would inspire, give strength and help people to see a light through their own darker times. It occurs to me though that I cannot truly do that if I am not writing about my own, using quotes that pertain to those areas just as surely as I am writing about the ones that give me a new perspective. I had a somewhat troubling Saturday night and the unease of it still settles within me today and so the quote I have chosen is about how sometimes we do feel these darker emotions and struggle with them. After all, life is a balance of the positive and negative and so too, should my blog be. So without further fan fare, here is today's quote.
" I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there's no relief in waking. Something in my expression stops him. Better not give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself together as it does to fall apart.” Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
This quote, although I do not wake each morning with nightmares, still speaks to me on the occasions that I do. We can all be haunted by the images that plague our dreaming minds. For some of us, the dreams start to fade as soon as we wipe the cobwebs from our eyes. We are able to wake and shake them off as nothing more than an over-active imagination or the result of some horror film we watched before we went to bed. Others of us have reoccurring nightmares that chill us to the bone and take days before they finally start to release the hold they have on our minds. Theses dreams are sometimes not so much a psyche by-product as they are actual memories of trauma's we have suffered in our lives. When this is the case,  the influence they have on us upon waking can alter our perceptions to such a degree that for a time, we are stuck right back in those moments. We become frightened or desperate, whatever the situation that we are reliving calls for us to be. Reactions to outside stimuli; such as the people we are around, the circumstances we find ourselves in, even the environment around us, can become completely out of character for us. Perhaps someone who loves animals would have a hard time being around them for a couple days if the trauma they had just relived in the dreaming realm had something to do with a vicious dog attack.  Likewise, someone who was raped may find it incredibly difficult to be around a certain gender of person until the nightmare of the occurrence has loosened it's grip. It can take but a moment in our sleeping minds to shatter us, but it can take days to put those nightmare-effected pieces back together again. Everyone has nightmares and no one is exempt for it is all a part of how our minds process information. For those whose nightmares are really more like bad memories, I share in your suffering and know the struggles such traumas can have on our daily lives long after the haze of dreamscape has left us. It is not easy to have to live with such things but it is possible if you make the choice to be a survivor instead of a victim. I wish you all strength as you fight your personal demons, in dreamland and in reality. May your healing be swift and your mind be strong.
Namaste